Indifference
"To love only what happens, what was destined. No greater harmony."
MARCUS AURELIUS
Keeping emotions in check, even in the face of difficulties, and especially with dealing with other people, is a Stoic staple. They didn't say that one shouldn't CARE about things, but they really advocated that idea of learning to feel "indifferent" about things. Feeling indifferent doesn't involve positivity or negativity. It's a possible position to take when considering things that previously seemed to cause negative emotions.
Think First
The Stoics held this concept of Postponement of Responses, through which subscribers to the philosophy would wait until strong emotions such as anger or unhealthy desires had naturally abated before deciding what action to take in response to them — comparable to worry postponement or time-out in anger management.
"The greatest remedy for anger is delay." SENECA
Acceptance.
Tolerance.
Indifference.
Examine the parallels between modern psychotherapy and stoic philosophy:
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: tolerance and acceptance of imperfections. ⏩ toward oneself, other people, and the world,
Stoic philosophy: accept with indifference ⏩ our own body, other people, and external events.
Activity: Indifference Practice
Where can you practice indifference when it involves your own body? Other people? External events?
Stoic indifference, or "ataraxia", isn't about apathy or not caring, but rather about recognizing that external events and circumstances are beyond our control and therefore shouldn't disrupt our inner peace and focus on virtue. When you're a survivor of trauma it is easy to resent the world and others. While your trauma wasn't deserved and your suffering is valid, dwelling in that place where we feel entitled to a better hand in life can lead to bitterness and impede healing.
The Stoics strongly opposed entitlement, viewing it as a flaw stemming from a lack of self-control and a distorted view of the world.
Trauma happens. But the Iron Mind holds with Epictetus:
"It's not what happens to you but how you react that matters."
Activity: Affirming Statements
Go back to your first journal entry about your trauma. Try replacing automatic thoughts with a grounded, agency-restoring alternative. Use the Formula:
This is painful AND I can choose my response.
Examples:
"What happened was unfair, but my peace doesn't depend on their behavior."
"I didn't deserve my trauma, and I don't need the world's cooperation to heal."
"Resentment feels justified, but it costs me more than it costs anyone else."
Again it's not about poker face. It's about weighing our thoughts with reason and acceptance. It's holding ourselves accountable and yet caring for ourselves as we struggle to build this impressive structure between our ears.
Assignments
✒️ Complete INDIFFERENCE PRACTICE
✒️Complete INDIFFERENCE AFFIRMATIONS
👀 Watch THE POWER OF INDIFFERENCE